39. Everyone has a story.

(aka - Don't judge a book by it's cover.)

"Everyone has a story." I didn't invent this phrase. Did Oprah? I've heard her say it a thousand times. This may be ridiculously redundant with #38 (about not judging others) but I think it's so fundamental to my view of life that it bears repeating.

I try to walk through this life without making assumptions and judgments about people based on first impressions and outward appearances. I try to remind myself that the real heart of a person is rarely evident at first glance. I can't know anything about someone from casual interaction... a life is too large and intricate and complex.

I've been practicing this principle for as long as I can remember and it's still hard. I still find myself making quick assumptions about people. But as I age, I am getting better about realizing my quick assumptions and quickly pulling way back - to remind myself that I know nothing about someone until I get to know them.

Tonight I ran to the grocery store to pick up milk and bread (what household with kids can go even one day without bread and milk?) I walked up to the express line behind two other customers. I smelled something acrid and realized it was the body odor of the man in front of me. He smelled like he was wearing urine soaked clothes. I observed the back of him and noticed his tattered clothes, drooping shoulders and greasy hair.

Instead of being repulsed, I felt compassion. I told myself that he has a story and I know nothing about him other than he seems to be in a bad spot at this moment. But even that is an assumption. I wondered if he has people in his life that love him. I wondered if he ever served our country in the armed forces. I thought of the people I love with mental health illness and how people may condemn them when they aren't feeling tip top.

I have an acquaintance named The Scary Guy. He is one of the few guys you will ever see who is tattooed and pierced all over his body including most of his face. He makes a BIG impression when we are out together. He is the kind of guy everyone makes assumptions about - he's a wrestler, a biker, a druggie, a weirdo. He's none of those things. Scary is gentle, thoughtful, smart and he is a motivational speaker trying to stamp out prejudice and hate. He drives a minivan.

My husband is really good about not making snap judgments about people - a quality that drew me to him. I hope we can pass this on to our kiddos.