I am not a fan of talking about people negatively behind their backs. I think it harms me because it keeps me in a negative state of mind, and I think it harms the person I might be talking about. The person who hears my negative words may change his/her opinion the target of my gossip, which isn't fair for anyone.
I do think there is a way to problem solve when I am faced with a challenging situation with another person. I think it is okay to talk with a trusted friend if I am honestly trying to find a solution or a strategy about another person. But I've found there is a fine line between problem solving and gossip; that line can be inadvertently crossed in an instant. I try to ask myself "would I have this exact conversation, with the same tone of voice and the same spirit, if the person I am talking about were sitting next to me?" If the answer is no, then it probably means I've slipped into something like gossip.
I read a great quote from a crazy man last week. Phil Spector (cuckoo) had a great quote from an interview ten years ago.
"Great minds talk about ideas.
Average minds talk about events.
Simple minds talk about people."
Thought provoking.
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