Being at home with our first newborn was full of disorienting extremes. I was exhausted. I soared with exhilaration. My body ached. My heart was adjusting to a new kind of love. In the pictures from those first few weeks, hubby looks dazed and confused. I slept a lot, more than the common stereotype of new moms, but that didn't prevent my world from feeling smeared and blurred and unrecognizable.
It's a wonder I recall anything from that time. But I do remember a powerful sensation that came over me about the role hubby and I should play in our child's life. I felt like God gave us to our child to be his guardians, his shepherds through this world. I recognized Wyatt's life as his own, not an extension of mine or my husband's. And, it was our role as parents to provide him a safe environment to become his own person, to discover his own passions and direction, to choose what he wants from this life.
As the parents to our now two children, I feel like we must guide them to green pastures and provide a childhood full of good influences for a solid foundation. We provide safety, love and a moral foundation. But it is Lily's life. It is Wyatt's life. They are people different from us - with their own personalities, own talents, their own instincts - and when they are adults (and hopefully not sooner) they will make their choices how they will walk through this life. We do not get to make those choices for our children.
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