When I was young and looking for love, I considered it off limits to live with a guy before I got married. Why would he buy the cow if he gets the milk for free? You've heard of that one right? That phrase was probably initiated for premarital sex but I applied it to shacking up.
I don't think it makes sense to live together to test out whether you are good match. Here's why.
I think marriage can be difficult. Oftentime very difficult. A lot of adapting, compromising, and negotiating goes on as a couple comes together. The commitment of marriage is needed to help two people get through the rough patches along the way. And for most people, there seem to be big surprises, disappointments and rough spots early on because of the magnitude of change going from single to double. With the marriage commitment, your frame of mind is "How do we work through this?" Without the marriage commitment, your frame of mind may be "Can I live with this forever?"
I know why people shack up first. I get that it is really hard to know if someone is right for you and to know for sure if you will still love that person once you see his dirty underwear on the floor by the toilet every day. But for me, it worked to keep that milk nice and cold in the icebox until loverboy was ready to fork over his milk money.
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