I married a man that grilled me when we were dating about my perspective on infidelity. Despite a generally mellow demeanor, he got heated just talking about it. And, he made his expectations clear like ice water - he would not tolerate any lapse. Cheating was not in his vocabulary, and he would only commit to someone who felt the same way.
I felt the same way!
And, I loved that he was so clear about it. I think every guy I'd ever been serious with cheated on me. So hubby's high moral ground felt refreshing. It spoke loud volumes about his character.
But, never say never. When it comes to marriage, I think we have to keep a constant vigil to ensure our partner's needs AND our own needs are being met. Not constant like hourly but constant like in the grand scheme of things.
Everyone wants to be heard, needed, understood, respected. We have to stay connected with our spouses through time together, conversation, physical intimacy and whatever activities nourish our bonds. There are times when other priorities mean we have less time to dedicate to our marital relationship (pregnancy, new babies, moving, medical issues, etc.), and a good marriage should be able to weather those times.
But I think we fool ourselves if we cling solely to the idea that our spouse will never cheat or even that we would never cheat. People become vulnerable when we feel lonely, unfulfilled, underappreciated, or misunderstood for prolonged periods of time.
Don't cheaters usually end up saying stuff like, "She made me feel special." Well, as a spouse, I want to be the one that makes him feel special, and I want the same from him.
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