Sunday, December 9, 2007

5. If it's not fattening or immoral...

I resembled a painted cupie doll in high school - silver eye shadow, aqua eyeliner on top and bottom, caked on base and powder, pink lipstick. My earthy Aunt Helen from New Mexico expressed her concern to my mom about my adornment, and shouldn't Mom do something about it. My mom, working full time and raising two head strong girls on her own, responded by saying "If it's not fattening or immoral, I'm letting it go."

This is a great lesson in parenting. Pick your battles. I don't know if I am good at it, but I hope to use this as a guidepost in my own parenting. I believe you can't nit pick everything about your kids. They need breathing room to make choices and learn from their mistakes. It makes sense to focus on the big stuff and let other things work themselves out. (I tossed out my stock of L'Oreal and Cover Girl after a year of college in granola, liberal Austin.)

Figuring out what "battles" to wage and what to let go is a huge challenge and a fundamental characteristic of your personal parenting philosophy. With youngsters, it seems everything is important - manners, sharing, talking with respect, being appreciative, safety. I probably err on the side of letting too many things go instead of the other way around. (I don't mind if my kids say "fart" just not in public and not all day long.)

In these modern times, I might add on to this phrase "If it's not fattening, immoral, or dangerous...."

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