I believe that I must know who my children really are and accept their fundamental nature.
For example, my son has always been extremely hesitant in new situations. This part of his personality screamed to the surface at his first Christmas party at 11 months old. It was hard for me accept this about him for a lot of reasons and maybe mostly because it wasn't like me who always loves a crowd. I now know this is part of him. I am trying to teach him more coping skills so that he knows ways to approach a crowd without being overwhelmed. But, I accept that new situations will likely be more awkward for him than they are for someone else's child.
My daughter is very independent. She wanted to walk down the stairs standing up as soon as she started walking. With no help. She wanted to dress herself without interference at the age of two. Independence is her fundamental nature. I accept that about her which is helpful characteristic for a 3 year old but I am sure will be a nightmare when she's 11.
I want to honor who my kids' are. I want them know themselves and love themselves and that starts with their parents leading by example.
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I can identify with this --as you know. Once I recognize a certain behavior is, "just him" I let go of any angst or questioning. At times I still struggle and for a moment *think* he could act differently...but quickly realize he wouldn't be the little guy God intended him to be...
It is amazing though, isn't it? Siblings personalities can be so varied.
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