30. Do what you HAVE to do to do what you WANT to do.

Actor Denzel Washington grew up with this saying and used it as a parent himself. And, Denzel worked it into the dialog for his recent movie "The Great Debaters" (which I haven't seen but I saw him discussing it on TV.)

It hits the nail on the head. You have to put in your time, you have to do the hard work to get what you want in life. I want my kids to grow up embracing this idea.

College was a real test of this philosophy in my life. I worked extremely hard to get great grades. I figured top marks would open doors for me - doors to grad school, to great jobs, to options. Scholastic success was my path to a bright future.

And I knew I needed a path. My mom raised two kids solely on her income, and when I entered college, I knew that one day I might be financially responsible for my future family. I wanted a solid career not only to achieve my personal potential but as a safety net.

So I buckled down. I took a full course load and studied about 3 hours a day 5 or 6 days a week for the 4 years I was at UT. (And partied like a rock star too. More on that later.)

It paid off in spades - the grades not the partying. I got the best grades I could muster (not perfect but impressive) which led to lots of job interviews my senior year and the choice of several terrific jobs. I chose a consulting job that took me on a path of adventure and great income and a great work experience.

So I did what I HAD to do (study) to do what I WANTED to do (get a good job.) But all work and no play makes Margo a boring girl. I partied too. I had an active social life (not as active as my husband's tales of his college years) but there was no shortage of fun in my life.
I hit the books hard then I felt free to let my hair down and swill a few beers with my buds.

Eight years out of college, I was part of a team that selected college seniors to hire for engineering positions. The red flag flew high when a student explained away a bad grade by saying "I don't do well when I get bored." We looked for people who persevered even in the face of boredom. All jobs get boring but that's no excuse to slack off.

As parents we are trying to push the idea of doing what you need to do (chores, homework) to do what you want to do (watch TV, play video games.) It's not always easy but I know for sure it's worth it.