8. Stop complaining and start asking for what you want.

Dr. Phil says this to his guests. I haven't watched his show in years but a few of his quips have stayed with me, like this one - stop complaining and start asking for what you want.

This advice has come in especially helpful when dealing with the opposite sex, namely my husband. What man wants to hear a lot of whining, complaining and emotional carrying-on? It gets old. My husband loses interest real fast if I spend too much time agitating about the problem without getting to a solution. For example, instead of whining about how I feel unappreciated for all the energy it takes to put a healthy meal on the table every night, I turn it around and ask specifically for what I want - help setting the table, help clearing the table, and someone to carry in all the groceries when I shop. That feels better to me. I lay it on the line for what would help me instead of engaging in a lengthy bitch fest about how I occasionally feel put upon.

The challenge with this concept is getting out of the habit of complaining. It's hard switching your techniques from emotional wrangling to straight up communication. For some people, it is really hard to be in tune with their needs enough to state them clearly.

Now, if the person you are dealing with flat out ignores or rejects your straightforward requests, well that's a whole different issue related to compromise and adaptation.