34. You teach people how to treat you.

Another one from Dr. Phil. This is such a simple statement but it says so much.

By the things we allow, request, ignore, and stand up for, we are showing people how we will allow them to treat us. What we tolerate from others sends a clear message.

• If we let people walk all over us, we teach them that we will lay down and take it.
• If we let loved ones ridicule us without standing up for ourselves, we teach people that we will take their verbal punishment.
• If we are too uncomfortable to say what we really feel, we teach people that we won't stand up for ourselves.

I made lots of mistakes in this area growing up. I guess we all do. I let boyfriends disrespect me (lie, cheat, and steal) and I did nothing about it except cry a few tears and complain loudly. But I kept dating them. By my actions, I was showing them they could treat me that way and I'd take it. Sometimes it means you have to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend as a way to send that clear statement.

Marriage is different. You can't just break up. Instead, I think people should be their true self when dating, show their partners how they want to be treated, so that they decide to get married based on a real information not a fairy tale.